Job 39 November 17, 2008

WOW.  I loved this chapter.  It described the ways of all the animals and how God knows each and every thing and fact about them.  I love to think that God knows every hair on every persons head.  That is so amazing to me.  That God knew me before I was even born,  that he had a purpose and a plan layed out for me.  I am a natural planner, so it is great comfort to know that there is something in store for my life, and that it is something wonderful and exciting.

Thank you lord for your knowledge over my life.  You know where every bird flies, and where every fish swims.  Thank you for knowing me.  I hope one day I can be as close to you as you are to me right now.

Job 37 and 38 November 13, 2008

These chapters have brought me so much relief and encouragement.  I was beginning to think that God would never answer God, and that he would never answer me either.  I have been (and still am) struggling with the fact that I don’t feel “on fire” for God.  I know that he is real and I believe in him, I just don’t feel like he’s there.  I see so many people around me who are so close to God and are so excited to do anything he says.  Like Job, all I see is trials and emptiness in my life. I don’t feel God and I don’t hear from him.  I pray and pray for so long and so hard for him to speak to me and to make me on fire for him.  And I wait and wait for him to answer me, to speak, and show up in my life.  I go to him expecting something but all I receive is the empty silence of my waiting.  I was getting discouraged, and seeing how much Job went through made it even harder to keep on waiting.  Then I read this chapter.  It made me so hopeful.  I know God is in charge of everything.  He is waiting for the right time to speak to me, just like he waits to command the skies to rain and snow.  I don’t have to feel God in my life to understand that he is real.  I believe in him, and my feeling s can deceive me.  All I need to do is trust that he is alive and working in me and when the time is right he will tell me all I need to know.  These chapters have shown me that through everything, god is present, I realize now that all along he was trying to speak to me.  He was trying to tell me that I just needed to trust him.  Today at church we were worshipping and for the first time, I just broke down.  The feeling of loneliness and abandon were just too much, and I couldn’t do it anymore.  I was tired of feeling worthless and alone, so I just asked God to forgive me for not listening closely enough.  I asked for his healing and for his comfort, and immediately felt lighter.  The book of Job has shown me that I need to trust in God, even if it may be the hardest thing I’ll ever do.  

Prayer:  Thank you Lord, for showing me the areas in my life that I need to improve.  Thank you for being patient with me.  I ask still for your patience, because I am still learning.  I ask, Lord, that you continue to help me learn and deepen my relationship.  Help me to be “real” and help me to open my heart and be needy.  I ask for blessing over my life.  Make me feel your presence and make me into a person you would be proud of.  Make me into a witness for your kingdom.  Thank you lord for everything that you have given me.  Help me to use it to bless and serve you.  I ask for your guidance in my life.

Job 36 September 14, 2008

Verses 22-25: God is exalted in his power. Who is a teacher like him? Who has prescribed his ways for him, or said to him, ‘You have done wrong’?  Remember to extol his work, which men have praised in song.  All mankind has seen it; men gaze on it from afar.

Reflection: I love God so much.  Some things are going on in my family right now, and it is so comforting to know that all this pain I am feeling, I can just offer up to God.  There is no teacher like him, no caregiver like him.  No one else I know can take all of my worries away.  All I have to do is ask.

Prayer: Thank you lord, I love you

Job 35 September 9, 2008

Reflection: Right now in school we are reading “the crucible”, and I just can’t stop thinking about all of those women who were hanged for being “witches”  They went through trials just like Job, but their faith remained strong and consistent.  I think God was trying to tell the people of Salem not to prosecute those women, but they were ignorant to his messages.  I wonder if the prosecutors are in heaven?

Prayer: Lord give me strength like the women in the salem witch trials.  They endured so much but remained true to you.

Job 34 August 29, 2008

Verses 31-32: Suppose a man says to God, ’I am guilty but will offend no more.  Teach me what I cannot see; if I have done wrong, I will not do so again.’

Reflection: I loved this chapter and it was so hard for me to choose a couple of verses to really think about.  I chose these 2 because they just demonstrate the mercy and Grace God has for us.  I mean, we are all sinners and we don’t deserve God’s goodness.  He willingly gives us the opportunity to know and have a relationship with him.  AND if we have sinned, all we need to do is ask forgiveness and everything is forgotten.  I love that it is this way with God.  My Father was always one to hold a grudge and remember past wrong doings, when something came up, and for a while I was the same way.  It would take me a long time to finally forgive the person who had hurt me and move on.  I am always in such awe that God can take all of this hurt and just forget about the sin instantly, only if we ask him.  I love God so much and it hurts me to think that every day I hurt him, but we were born into sin.  All I can ask is that God try and help me to stay on the right path, and when I do sin it is a comfort to know that forgiveness is just a prayer away.

I don’t mean that a person should sin with reckless abandon, knowing that they will always be forgiven.  I wonder if God sees through the apologies that sometimes people make, him knowing that they are just going to do it again.  It’s a tough subject for me, but I take solace knowing that God is never going to hold a grudge against me, nor will he ever deny me of forgiveness.

Prayer: Lord help me to not make empty apologies.  And help me to give forgiveness as readily as you do.